Mrs. Brady’s Archives - November 2001

The following was copied “as is” directly from Mrs. Brady’s URL’s web page.

6:24 AM MST, Thurs. 11/1/01 (day #1771 week #255 month #58 year #4
1. Pigs as Deterrent?

Good Morning!

Another Boulder Creek Path assault, this time there were two assailants. Jane Harmer on the case.

Case Characters: Colorado Governor Bill Owens tours prisons, sees terrorists but they were asleep (too bad).

Fair Game: Sure, she's hosted shows about JonBenét, so CNN's Bobbie Battista is a case character too. But she's looking real gone...

When Pigs Fly: New additions to the excellent Scopes Urban Legends site include this one suggesting baby pigs on all air flights to discourage Islamic terrorists.

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle: The twisted relations of the Mullah and bin Laden.


6:35 AM MST, Fri. 11/2/01 (day #1772 week #255 month #58 year #4
1. The new "Scud Stud"?

Good Morning!

Case Characters: LOL, "Skunkhead" is folding tent at CNBC, jumping to Fox...aiieee! Please not my beloved Fox! What? Are they striving for 'balance'?

Also found on Drudge today (no, I don't read him everyday, he's just...too much): Peggy Noonan on what we must do "We are all soldiers now", a must read, humorous, thoughtful and long. Hey, I'll drink to that.

Ack, I really hate ABC News....can you say hypocrite?

So, take one and call me in the morning.

Upcoming: Thursday, November 8, Larry King Live, CNN, 7 PM MST, new age diva Enya performs "Only Time".


5:50 AM MST, Sat. 11/3/01 (day #1773 week #255 month #58 year #4
1. If he's bored he could go to Afghanistan...

Good Morning!

Dead on Arrival: Lou Smit insinuates himself into the news again. Also saved here on this server if that link is stale (the Gazette does not archive).

Case Characters: El Paso County Sheriff John Anderson, who royally tee-ed off Mark Beckner this Spring by commenting on NBC's Today Show that he agreed with Lou Smit (and never responded to Beckner's demand for an apology), is hunting for a new job due to term limits. (Don't look in Boulder!)

Background on the love/hate relationship between the City of Boulder and present and past El Paso County staff...

June 16, 2001 - Gazette: Retired detective's mission is to nail JonBenét's killer

June 18, 2001 - Gazette: Ramsey investigator keeps fight going for Justice

July 13, 2001 - Gazette: Sheriff, Boulder chief spar over Ramsey case

Getting off light in Boulder: Do you think they bury these items in the Saturday issue becasue they know no one is looking? Rapist walks and child abuser released.

And the fake cop has struck again, Sheriff Epp is investigating.

Check it out: Murder, duct tape, strangulation, windowless room...Denver woman found in closet, was missing at least 10 days.

Terrorism: Heads up in New England!


8:05 AM MST, Sun. 11/4/01 (day #1774 week #255 month #58 year #4
1. JonBenét - the Band

Good Morning!

I'm late because I was shopping on Ebay....aargh!

I cannot find anything remotely-Ramseyesque today, so check out the updated JonBenét book sales list, plenty of bargains there if there are some you haven't read already.

What a difference a day makes: Is it now a good thing to be an intern in D.C.? Maybe, maybe not. I wouldn't send my kidlet there, no way.

And from the New York Times, summary of dumb anthrax stunts - don't even think about it.


6:46 AM MST, Mon. 11/5/01 (day #1775 week #255 month #58 year #4
1. Auctioning children

Good Morning!

Typical Monday, there ain't pooh on JonBenet today (but I am still looking and thank you for your devotion).

Must reads for the day...

New York Times on Torture, yeah we should, damn straight, I'll volunteer to do it too...

Washington Post on the charity debate, judge to look into where the funds are...

New York Post on the sex lives of Al Queda, ("the women being auctioned off were completely covered, but some appeared to be as young as 12 and were accompanied by their mothers"), I've been humming Bin Laden Laid to the tune of Dylan's Lay Lady Lay all morning, need a volunteer lyricist to finish it off...

Hoping for more tomorrow...but the last time I said that was September, nevermind.


6:41 AM MST, Tue. 11/6/01 (day #1776 week #255 month #58 year #4
1. Bombs the size of beetles, VW that is...

Good Morning!

Sick Puppy: Denver Post investigative report on the Fort Lupton, Colorado serial child molester, and how he "fell through the cracks" - and in an interesting link, he and his paramour (also a convicted child abuser) filed for a marriage license in Boulder...wonder if they used their real names?

Maybe the Colorado powers-that-be used this kind of twisted logic that I found in today's paper-paper. This really belongs in the no-i'm-not-making-this-up category. (go ahead, you are intrigued, click on it)...

More Boulder Wackiness: Paladin Books may publish the Al Queda death manual...cites the public's right to know. Yee Haw!

Today is election day and - Heads Up New Yorkers! Nah, it's not a scud, it's just a stud. Can you say Clintonesque? Speaking of the devil, the revelers over at Lucianne's are blaming Osama's disappearing act on Monica-gate. Whatever.

Still confused about September 11th? Now you can read the book. Or if you just want instant gratification, this bomb's for you.

What popped up when I entered "Osama Yo Mamma" in Google this morning, ya gotta love it. Seems safe and virus-free too. Enjoy. And if games aren't your thing you'll find this little ditty stirring.


6:33 AM MST, Wed. 11/7/01 (day #1777 week #255 month #58 year #4
1. Classic Patsy

Good Morning!

Exit stage Right: Boulder voters reject shameless plea to retain office-holders beyond term limits, Sheriff George Epp and Coroner John Meyer out of work...

Related: Sterling, Colorado, Logan County Coroner mess.

Ramsey nemesis Governor Bill Owens was sent a threatening (albeit short) letter containing white powder - yucks it up with reporters.

Dumb Crooks: Dateline Broomfield, Colorado - Note to members of sleeper terrorist cells - if you want to be inconspicuous, don't beat your wife.

On the war front and fear-factor: Good News and Bad News. More details on the Bad News. And complete text of the Bad News (pdf format, requires Acrobat Reader).

Just because I can: Do you know who murdered my friend Lauren Black? Anonymous donor offers $10,000 reward for information on dark-colored SUV and driver who hit her and left her for dead.


6:47 AM MST, Thur. 11/8/01 (day #1778 week #256 month #58 year #4
1. Heads up! Geraldo's coming!

Good Morning!

The Boulder County term limits provision, upheld by voters on Tuesday, which will oust "icons" like Epp and Coroner Meyer, creates opportunities for Republicans and other outsiders.

More: The elected coroner system called antiquated. Board-certified forensic pathologists like Meyer are looking for careers not politics.

Ack: Another only-in-Boulder episode, and I can guess who the unidentified "Denver talk show host" is.

Life imitates art in Boulder: Maybe this sick puppy thought flashing his manhood would be a critical success?

In other news - classic Bill O'Reilly! He-master comments on Geraldo. A must read (go pee first). My fervent wish is that NBC's honcho's give Skunkhead's time slot to Dan Abrams, we'll wait and see...


:14 AM MST, Fri. 11/9/01 (day #1779 week #256 month #58 year #4
1. "art"

Good Morning!

Git out your tiny violins: Somehow I just can't empathize. TV execs moan about shrinking audiences/budgets/revenues/talent, except for "newsies, who suddenly feel relevant again after years of covering non-stories like Gary Condit and JonBenét".

Case Characters: Longmont Daily Times-Call on the voter induced term-limit shake-out that will axe JonBenét autopsist John Meyer.

Be careful what you wish for: Boulder child molester appeals result of his third trial. Former BPD cop Mack Willie Thomas thinks 16 years is "excessive". Charges Mary Keenan with "prosecutorial misconduct".

Heh. Follow-up on the Boulder Library "art" controversy (see yesterday's column below), this one even has a picture of the "display". And City issues official response that sounds like a neaner-neaner to me.

Nice: NBC Denver affiliate KUSA-9 helps to promote FOX's America's Most Wanted. November 24th show will feature the Fort Collins/Center City (Philadelphia) rapist-murderer.

Help me Jeezus!: Such a long time ago and in a different era, we mentioned on this page trivial 911 calls, like how long to cook your turkey. The date: Monday, September 10, 2001. (We also foolishly signed off "wishing for more news tomorrow.")



Mrs. Brady is taking Saturday off so she can sleep late and then do her nails.
She will return on Sunday morning at the usual time.




Mrs. Brady took the day off on Saturday November 11/10.


6:25 AM MST, Sun. 11/11/01 (day #1781 week #256 month #58 year #4

Good Morning!

Wow, a lot happened over the past 48 hours...Okay, I know I'm obsessing on the ceramic penis display (see Friday and Thursday issues below) - but I swear, I have an ALIBI and so does Fleet White!...

Some patriotic citizen with a weird sense of humor (NOT ME) snuck (is that a word?) into the Boulder Library and STOLE THE PENI (sounds like a punch line to a joke) but vandalized the 'artwork' by replacing the phalli with leetle-beetle American Flags. (No-I'm-Not-Making-This-Up, hereinafter to be referred to as NINMTU©, copyright Mrs. Brady, all rights reserved).

In other news, the Rocky Mountain News did an excellent piece of investigative journalism with this piece on an al-Qaida cell operating in the Denver area - shades of "small foreign faction", eh?

Fallout: Follow-up story on the possible terrorist who had the the ill luck to beat his wife, get ratted out by said wife, and busted in Broomfield.


6:00 AM MST, Mon. 11/12/01 (day #1782 week #256 month #58 year #4
1. We come in peace...

Good Morning!

El Dildo Bandito turns himself in! And, get this, he is unrepentant! Lions, tigers and bears, oh my...Should they throw the book at him? Take the poll.

In other news, and it's hard to find on Mondays even in the middle of a war, the Red Cross is offering refunds to those who feel they were duped...want your blood back?

And something else to make you smile - check out what $1 US is really worth today in Kabul...


7:17 AM MST, Tue. 11/13/01 (day #1783 week #256 month #58 year #4
1. Kabul has fallen

Good Morning! Sorry I'm late, fuzzy head here...

Good News/Bad News/Good News - Kabul has fallen but so has American Airlines...and Vladimir Putin is visiting with Dubya, he is so hot. In other news...

JonBenét on your Resume: Gregg McCrary will be speaking at a college near me on Thursday night. Open to the public. Maybe I'll go. Any other volunteers? Hey, we could sell our story to a tabloid (just kidding.)

Also in the Allentown paper this morning, an 11 year-old girl was attacked by an 'inturder', so there, it does happen (happy now, Patsy?).

The penises will not be rehung in Boulder but the Boulder County chapter of the ACLU is demanding that the Dildo Bandito be arrested and prosecuted...where were they when that little girl, whatshername, was murdered and left in a cold, damp windowless room? Get a life.

They should be concerned with this: More inkings and inklings that there is a terrorist cell in Boulder.


6:40 AM MST, Wed. 11/14/01 (day #1784 week #256 month #58 year #4
1. Beautiful!

Good Morning!

BPD via DA cites Dildo Bandito, garbed in appropriate attire, for misdemeanor - may face time in the clink...take the poll and let Mark and Mary know how you feel. I feel guilty - for being such a nasty male-basher - and promise to reform (maybe tomorrow).

Meanwhile down in Colorado Springs, Beckner-nemesis, term-limited, Smit-hugger Sheriff John Anderson is in deep doo doo...

Case Characters: Governor Bill Owens' press secretary, Dick Wadhams, has resigned. Odd, weird praise for someone who routinely sticks both feet in his mouth.

On the war front: Putin is still hot, and I don't care if my husband scoffs at my opinion. Kandahar is falling (not fallen). Dubya signs order for terrorist-suspects to be tried in secret military tribunals - ACLU screaming (good). FBI raids suburban Philadelphia (!) homes of Pakistanis (?) aided by (!!!!) Hazmat teams (WTF?!?!?!?)...

'nuff said. Now I like to leave you laughing, but this story about another little girl from Boulder is so sad yet poignantly uplifting that I would be irresponsible in not linking to it and calling it your attention. So think of Parker playing with JonBenet today - and smile.


6:35 AM MST, Thurs. 11/15/01 (day #1785 week #257 month #58 year #4
1. Are we having fun yet?

Good Morning!

This is probably the last story on the case of the purloined penises.

Fired up after the Vance Martin case, Colorado will begin registering sex offenders upon conviction, not waiting for release/parole. (While in Florida, they are releasing pedophiles to reduce prison crowding - And Canada is releasing terror suspects on parole - NINMTU©)

Inturder/Abduction: Mother 6-year-old daughter are missing from Grand Junction, Colorado. Pool of blood at the scene. But something smells off about this whole set-up...

Meanwhile back in Boulder...Matthew Mirabal (remember him? convicted of murder? reports wife missing by calling 911? her body found decapitated?) threatens to sue the Boulder County DA. "Mirabal accuses local authorities, including sheriff's Detective Steve Ainsworth, of violating his First, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth and 14th amendment rights." This is as wacky as those prison guards who believe it's their Constitutional right to have sex with inmates - NINMTU©

And a Boulder chiropractor has been arrested after giving patients some odd adjustments.

Remaining Calm but Vigilant: Plans on how to make a nuke found in Kabul house. Osama is on the run and hence is more dangerous than ever. Mullah issues new threat. Al-Jazeera correspondent detained in Texas. Lions, Tigers and Bears, ohmy.


6:35 AM MST, Fri. 11/16/01 (day #1786 week #257 month #58 year #4
1. Stun guns?

Good Morning!

While you were sleeping...

United Airlines will be putting stun guns on all flights.

Colorado will be getting it's own state-wide "Innocence Project", ala Barry Scheck. Oh Lawdy.

Grand Junction, Colorado mother and daughter still missing, pool of blood being analyzed, husband/father will hold press conference this morning.

Gary Condit has been subpoenaed by a grand jury looking into the disappearance of Chandra Levy (proof that there is hope for cold cases and life goes on, eh?).

Finally Boston gets it right - Argenbright banned from Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Osama likely has fled over the border into Pakistan. Lovely. But he won't emerge alive.


6:53 AM MST, Sat. 11/17/01 (day #1787 week #257 month #58 year #4
1. Horses? Gee Whinny!

Good Morning!

Boulder-area "terrorist" is out on bail, but going to grand jury. His brother has also been arrested. Typical Colorado justice...And they're setting members of small foreign factions free in Denver too. All this on the same day that the FBI announces that they are positive there are terrorist cells in the U.S. And this morning they found a bomb in a Colorado Springs hotel...Go figure...Maybe they're plotting terrorisim by alligator.

The kinky Boulder chiropractor has additional sex assault charges against him.

In the case of the missing Grand Junction, Colorado mother and her six-year-old daughter, cops say based on the amount of blood at the scene at least one of them is dead. (Okay, so mom whacked the kid and then took off with the body...)

Colorado lawmakers FUBARed the system again (remember the paroled pedophiles?) this time with vehicular assault/homicide terms.

On a lighter note: Barbie has gone GOTH, complete with a tatoo!

HOUSEKEEPING: Don't forget to either stay up late or get up early to watch the best damn meteor shower in our lifetimes...



Mrs. Brady took Sunday off because she was up all night looking at the meteor showers.



6:00 AM MST, Mon. 11/19/01 (day #1789 week #257 month #58 year #4
1. Uncommon Bravery

Good Morning!

Colorado criminal records will be available over the internet in early '02.

Boulder's kinky-chiropractor is out on bail - of course. Despite two additional women coming forward with similar stories (see also Saturday's issue below).

It's supposed to snow in Boulder this morning, check it out.


6:53 AM MST, Tue. 11/20/01 (day #1790 week #257 month #58 year #4
1. Goosed!

Good Morning!

Longmont/Boulder County - This is just too gruesome to describe, read at your own risk.

I have an alibi....more art has been stolen from the controversial Boulder library exhibit...not phalli this time though.

A Colorado lawmaker wants to put the Flag flap to bed by legislation - glory be!

And not a big surprise but a Boulder County Sheriff's deputy charged with harrasment has had his case dismissed.

Terror Shake-out: It's not a good time to try to smuggle drugs aboard an airliner.

And now for some good news - the Taliban/al Queda did not have nuke plans afterall....


6:00 AM MST, Wed. 11/21/01 (day #1791 week #257 month #58 year #4
1. What it's all about

Good Morning!

Tacky? Who cares! Hey, hey JonBenét is in the news today, (I'm a poet, I know it, and my feet show it...)

Speaking of "art" - Follow-up story in the Camera, the Rocky and Denver Post on the latest art theft /vandalism /statement in Boulder...gosh, they are odd.

More on the gruesome child sex-assault trial ongoing in Boulder County court...(WARNING: GRAPHIC TESTIMONY).

Shades of prison guards who claim a CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT to have sex with inmates, College bans professors from having "consensual amorous relationships" with students.

Yo ho, those Taliban have a wicked sense of humor, what do you make of a press conference held in a town called SPIN? Anyway, totally off topic but worth a read. The full transcript of the SPIN can also be read here thanks to CNN.

Elsewhere: Osama is getting maudlin, Connecticut is getting anthrax, and they are getting giddy in Tehran.


6:25 AM MST, Thurs. 11/22/01 (day #1792 week #258 month #58 year #4
1. Make Love, Not War

Happy Turkey Day!

El Paso: Little girl, missing then found murdered, compared to both JonBenét and Chandra Levy.

Stolen art found and returned by good Samaritan.

Boulder's latest pedophile (see "gruesome" in Tuesday and Wednesday issues below) has been found guilty.

In other news...

Osama receives permission to commit suicide...

Taliban who? Pakistan closes last embassy as Kunduz surrenders.

And on a thankful note, a real life "Pay it Forward" program prospers.



Because it's the deadest news cycle of the year,
Mrs. Brady took Friday through Monday off.


6:15 AM MST, Mon. 11/26/01 (day #1796 week #258 month #59 year #4
1. Dogs like pigs, really!

Good Morning!

Totally confused over Patsy's comments on elementary education? (See her 1996 Christmas letter)..This should clear things up for you.

Weird Boulder Crime: Chalk this one up to the NINMTU department...some idyot tried to hijack a bus. I guess he wanted to get out of Boulder very badly (that's either a pun or double entendre, which is French, and hence, Patsy would approve).

Attention Boulder residents! The BPD is seeking applicants for it's Professional Standards Civilian Review Panel. Oh I wish I lived in Boulder...

In other news, the first human has been cloned and Northern Afghanistan has fallen - completely. But the big news is that the Brady's became dog "guardians" this weekend. Pictures coming soon of Ava, our German Shepherd puppy. I must be out of my mind. Bob Cooksey will hate me. Help me Jeezus!


8:38 AM MST, Tue. 11/27/01 (day #1797 week #258 month #59 year #4
1. attorneys as mothers

Good Morning!

Sorry I'm so late today, my baby girl took her driver's license exam this morning and she was so NERVOUS I just let her play on the computer until it was time to leave. Heads up, she passed and is on the road out there....

Case to Watch: Mary of the Smelly-Fish has another stinky problem on her hands - (and didn't her son recently have troubles too?) at this rate she'll never get around to JonBenét...

Spoil Sports: Did you catch the Buffs creaming the Cornhuskers last Friday? Apparently some of the Boulder visitors were not pleased with the outcome.

More Boulder weirdness, the doggie poop commando is at it again. Not even a full moon yet.

And I have no idea what's going on with the Denver Post - their web site has been down all morning. Like gone. Poof.

But some general Colorado weirdness persists. Skiing is still hazardous to your health and prisoners are taking up (drum roll, please) knitting - NINMTU...

Girls in Burquas: Taliban women were our secret weapon, says the National Enquirer.

I love this stuff. Speaking of weird relations (see Mary above), Hillary's brothers are at it again.


6:44 AM MST, Wed. 11/28/01 (day #1798 week #258 month #59 year #4
1. coming out with Laura

Good Morning!

Sick Puppy: Rope, duct tape and sexual assault on a child. Add that it's Denver-metro and it smells like a Lin Wood press conference.

Gadzooks! A nice story about an episode at DIA, even has a happy ending...

Get out yer tiny violins: Defense attorneys are trotting out all kinds of sob-story justifications for Keith Nelson's murder/rape of 10-year-old Pamela Butler (story found on CrimeNews2000).

Warning for the Rammers: Stun-gunning pigs can be harmful to your health!

And on the Left Coast, cops have raided Pee Wee Herman's mansion looking for child porn. What's the world coming to?

Speaking of weirdoes, I've been watching FNC 'til I'm blue in the face trying to catch a report from the "buff" Jerry Rivers LIVE from Afghanistan. His speechlet on Friday night left me totally aghast (at the tidbit-less of it).

INTERACTIVE: CrimeNews2000 is hosting a live chat tonight, 9:30 PM EST, with an expert on Afghanistan.(Note that's 9:30, not 8:30, sorry).


6:57 AM MST, Thurs. 11/29/01 (day #1799 week #259 month #59 year #4
1. proof of intelligent life?

Good Morning!

Oops, they did it again: American Media's Star tabloid sued by Aretha Franklin for implying that she's an alkie, mentions Rammers' lawsuits.

Oops, again, too: Longmont Daily Times-Call article on poor lil' Mary Keenan's latest distraction (that will keep her mind off of JonBenét).

But the last of the Boulder gang rapists was sentenced yesterday - got a whopping 108 years! Nice job and kudos to Keenan's team here.

JonBenét also implied, but not mentioned, in this week's Kenny Bé cartoon in WestWord - hysterical (large file size, but worth the wait...)

Why did that Ohio girl "confess" to JonBenét's murder? She may have been cyber-schizoid...

Related: And I know how I missed this, JonBenét was the "winner" of the most-vile category at Dead-Baby-Dress-Up.*WARNING: Graphic content and language, durable linkage.

Blood tests "inconclusive", or are they? in the case of missing mother and daughter Jennifer and Abby Blagg in Grand Junction, Colorado.

Park County, Wyoming: Oh those wacky District Attorneys! You never know what they're going to get caught doing next...this one was trying to pick-up under-age boppers over the internet by sending out nude photos of his buff bod.

Coloradans in the news: Bush Interior Secretary Gale Norton is in hot water. Why does this not surprise me? (Her appointment and approval sure did.)

In other news of note, Drudge cited British tabloid Sun report that Osama has been "found" - good probably for yucks only, but you never know with those wily tabs.

Also worth reading, especially if you guffawed over Amnesty International's demand for an investigation into why hundreds of Taliban were killed (after they stomped Mike Spann of Alabama, USA to death, or the ACLU's chest-thumping over secret military tribunals...column in today's New York Post telling the liberal terrorist-huggers to "Shut Up, Already!", yee haw!

Finally, what would you expect from a country shaped like a...penis?



The 911 tapes(s) have never been broadcast. This is the one element of this wacky case that both Jameson and the anti-Jameson (me) agree on. Anyone who claims differently is having a delusion. Talk about a waste of bandwidth...


7:00 AM MST, Fri. 11/30/01 (day #1800 week #259 month #59 year #4
1. It's been hell, actually

Good Morning!

JonBenét of the day: Another mention in a book review. Another use in the New York Times. Yawn.

When is a terrorist not a terrorist?: Broomfield, Colorado brothers indicted and charged - this is the idyot who was beating his wife and she turned him in. A small foreign faction...

Also yesterday, another foreign faction used a stun gun to rob a woman at the Flatiron Crossing Mall....just plain stupid. They will have Loose Smit on their ass...(be sure to scroll down on that page and read about the woman who got her hand stuck in a linguine machine...)

No footprints in the snow Redux: The Blagg case. Colorado. Mother and daughter. Newsflash - - there's no sign of an intruder. Damn, I'm good.

And amen to Chuck Green today - sheesh, polls show the American people fully support and understand the need for secret military tribunals, when will it get through to CNN???? (Forget about Dershowitz, he is a wacko).

General Colorado Wackos: The mayor of Georgetown, Colorado, a former stripper, has been accused of going topless. NINMTU.

But the big news today is (drum roll...) it looks like the old crowd at Justice Watch have finally settled into a new home...enjoy!