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[Sludge Reports by Shadow] Shadow's
Sludge Reports
Greenleaf Investigation

Greenleaf Investigation
By shadow
Sludge Report Staff Writer

Washington, DC – January 26, 1999: Your two-hatted reporter (political and investigative) was assigned by his editor to look into the strange disappearance of JonBenet forum superstar, Greenleaf (aka funny as hell). Following a rather cryptic "Goodbye" message thread, that drew more than 60 posts, Greenleaf disappeared from sight.

In my role as political reporter, I quickly did a man-on-the-street poll (that's what we political reporters like to do when we are stumped about what to write). The popularity poll rated Ken Starr at 25% approval, Bill Clinton 64% approval, and Greenleaf 99.9% approval. With Greenleaf's popularity ratings this high, my steeltrap reporter's mind quickly told me that I should avoid badmouthing our missing hero.

Switching to my investigative reporter hat, I began my search for Greenleaf in all the familiar hangouts – the JonBenet Ramsey Case forum, the Front Porch, and the Work Out Room. No Greenleaf! I checked the threads posted by the "usual suspects" (Panico, Jan, lilac, Jasmine, Shamrockpati, Allipat, China, Chris, fly, MrsBrady, Seashell, janab, etc.) and still no Greenleaf. Just as I was preparing to leave the JW forum and look in such unlikely, low rent, and dangerous places like BNF and WS, I spotted our missing world class poster lurking under a thread called "Focusing Back On JonBenet."

So, Greenleaf is back and I found her. My excellent investigative reporting powers are still as keen as ever. Thanks, Greenleaf – my editor is now contemplating sending me out to look for Jimmy Hoffa..

All "Sludge Reports" are "Parody"
All "Sludge Reports" are "Parody" and are written by "Shadow" and are the express property of "Shadow" and donated and used on the ACandyRose Website with express permission of "Shadow" as part of the archived history of the Internet Subculture surrounding the JonBenet Ramsey murder Investigation. The parody opinion expressed in the "Sludge Reports" is not necessarily the opinion of the webmaster of "ACandyRose" and have not been included in the archive history by "Shadow" or "ACandyRose" to discredit any Internet poster or any person in real life whose name may sound familiar when referenced within the parody reports. The "Sludge Reports" can not be copied or used from the ACandyRose website without the express permission of "Shadow."


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