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[Sludge Reports by Shadow] Shadow's
Sludge Reports
Dream Team #2

Dream Team #2
By Shadow
Sludge Report Staff Writer

Washington, DC – April 13, 1999: News is breaking so fast in the JonBenet Ramsey case that us media folk are having trouble deciding exactly what to cover next. Shadow was well into a Sludge Report Entertainment Section review of CBS's well-balanced 48 Hours show on the case when he got inside information (JW Forum) that JR is assembling a "high-powered" group of investigators to investigate the slaying of JonBenet.

Jim Marino, a close friend of the Ramseys, says that JR left his job at Jaleo North America and is primed and ready to devote full-time leading a world class team of volunteers in finding the killer(s). Mr. Marino said that top investigators throughout the free world are lining up to follow JR's lead. The list includes retired FBI, CIA, NSA, and KGB agents, as well as noted private eyes. Former FBI profiler, Gregg McCray, laughingly calls this "Dream Team #2," and asks, "Why weren't they doing this all along?"

Shadow's best efforts to get an interview with the Boulder DA's Office, JR, Bob Grant, McCray, Marino and others resulted in the usual no comments response. I believe Dr. Henry Lee also declined an interview, but I'm not really sure what he said.

I finally tracked down a private investigator, "Unclean Larry" Monihan, who has worked with shadow on a couple of investigative stories, and for the Tabs on numerous occasions. "Unclean Larry" worked for more than 10 years as a city detective up north and 8 years with the FBI, before becoming a private eye. Our discussion on "Dream Team #2" is provided below:

shadow: Have you heard anything about the world-class team of investigators that JR is assembling to find his daughter's killer?

Unclean: In fact, shadow, I'm a charter member of the team.

s: Charter member?

U: Well, actually, right now only Nelson "Nerd" Daniels and I have been hired. It is my understanding that JR and PR are reviewing resumes as you and I speak.

s: Hired? I thought this was an all volunteer outfit.

U: Get real, shadow. JR is a world-class CEO… he's going to run this operation like a well-oiled business. His managers must be on the payroll so they report directly to him, are loyal, don't have their own agendas, and keep things going in the right direction.

s: I can understand that. Who is this Nerd guy and what is he going to manage?

U: The only thing I know about Daniels is that he has been convicted twice for computer hacking. I believe he is managing some kind of Internet effort. He has this sound proof room loaded with computer stuff. An ex-CIA guy was in talking with Nerd yesterday – I couldn't hear what they were saying though the sound proof glass, but Nerd was really excited, yelling, walking in circles, and shaking his finger at the guy.

s: And what are you managing?

U: I'm managing the DNA investigation.

s: What!?! You don't know diddle about DNA!

U: Oh yeah? I ordered two books on DNA from Amazon.Com… I've read half of one book and already know more about DNA than the FBI Labs.

s: What other manager jobs are being filled?

U: Well, ah, let's see. Looking for a handwriting expert to head-up the ransom note analysis effort. My understanding is that PR wants to hire Docg, but JR violently disagrees. Don't really believe Docg is a serious candidate for the job. Uh, looking for a manager to oversee the effort to interview the 150 friends and neighbors that the Ramsey family has identified as suspects. Also, I heard the rumor that they are considering Lake to head-up a special team to investigate Fleet White. Some concern has been expressed about controlling Lake. I believe they have identified an ex-KGB guy to head the effort to track down the foreign faction. And a guy from Macys to hunt for the Santa Bear. Oh, yeah – they are talking with Oliver Stone about doing a documentary for CNN similar to his JFK movie… I believe it would be entitled "Who Killed JonBenet?"

s: Wow, sounds like JR is really serious about this. By the way, what is jameson's role in this endeavor?

U: jameson is Executive Vice-President of "Dream Team #2" and media coordinator.

s: Sounds like JR has all the bases covered. I guess the big question is are any of these volunteers going to look into possible Ramsey family involvement?

U: As Jim Marino said, "Obviously, solving this crime would be very huge for anybody's career." With ex-FBI, CIA, and KGB volunteers all over the place, my guess is that all possibilities will be checked-out. But, I'm sure JR wants the killer found no matter who it is.

s: You sure sound like a loyal "Dream Team #2" employee.

U: Well, shadow, you dance with the one that brung you, I always say. Got to go read my DNA books. Talk to you later.

s: Yeah, buddy. Keep me informed on progress.

All "Sludge Reports" are "Parody"
All "Sludge Reports" are "Parody" and are written by "Shadow" and are the express property of "Shadow" and donated and used on the ACandyRose Website with express permission of "Shadow" as part of the archived history of the Internet Subculture surrounding the JonBenet Ramsey murder Investigation. The parody opinion expressed in the "Sludge Reports" is not necessarily the opinion of the webmaster of "ACandyRose" and have not been included in the archive history by "Shadow" or "ACandyRose" to discredit any Internet poster or any person in real life whose name may sound familiar when referenced within the parody reports. The "Sludge Reports" can not be copied or used from the ACandyRose website without the express permission of "Shadow."


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