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in Private Investigation
|What's Happening in Private Investigation|
of Goldman/Simpson/JonBenet Murders
Sludge Report Staff Writer
Washington, DC - July 11, 1998: Given the overwhelming interest in the status of the Ramsey's ongoing investigation into the murder of their daughter, JonBenet, your ever diligent reporter tracked-down Tony "Trash" Terrell for an exclusive interview. Terrell is a noted private-eye who has worked for many of the tabloids, OJ Simpson, Ken Starr, and the Ramseys. I found Tony laid-up at Georgetown Hospital in Washington, DC. Below is our taped (with his permission) conversation.
Shadow: You don't look too good, Trash. What happened?
Trash: I was going through Monica Lewinsky's trash back of the Watergate complex for Ken Starr when three homeless people attacked me for infringing on their territory.
S: Jesus, two black eyes, head wrapped, left ear bitten-off… I thought you were a black belt?
T: Yeah… never had anything like this happen when I was going through trash for the Globe and Sun. I was leaning over in the trash bin when this guy hit me with a two-by-four. Then, all three jumped me. When I fought back, they sicked their pit bull on me.
S: Wow! Well, what I'm here for is some inside info on the Ramsey's investigation into their daughter's murder. I've been told you are working this case. T: I was, but not anymore. I'd been looking into the Colombian Connection for OJ when he got low on money. He called the Ramsey's lawyers and they worked a deal to split expenses for me to look for a Small Colombian Faction that could be responsible for all the murders.
S: Isn't that a stretch, Trash?
T: Hey, you pay's your money, I provide the service.
S: You said, "not anymore."
T: Yeah, well… I found this small Colombian, 'bout 5'2''. The Ramseys got really excited, but OJ said, "you got to be kidding, this guy couldn't handle Nichole much less Ron Goldman!" I got pissed and asked OJ what he expected for $40 an hour, and he fired me on the spot.
S: Ingrate! What about the Ramseys?
T: Things looked pretty good with the little Colombian until the lawyers started pushing for evidence that he was also a sick puppy. Try as I might, I couldn't get any sick puppy stuff on the guy. The lawyers were giving me a lot of grief when Ken Starr came along, so I quit.
S: So? What's the status of the Ramsey's private investigation? Do you know?
T: My understanding is that the little Colombian still looks pretty good for the small foreign faction part, but they hired jameson to continue work on the sick puppy angle.
S: Thanks for the info, Trash. Hope you get well soon.
T: Yeah… when I do, I'm going back to work for the Tabs. Just too much grief working for Starr, OJ and the Ramseys.
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