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[Sludge Reports by Shadow] Shadow's
Sludge Reports
The Curse of Hunter's Magic

The Curse of Hunter's Magic Causing Grand Jury Delay?
By Shadow
Sludge Report Staff Writer
Washington, DC - August 11, 1998: Your dedicated reporter made a side trip to Boulder, Colorado during his west coast vacation. As luck would have it, I was able to get an exclusive interview with a member of the Boulder DA's office. I, of course, cannot divulge the name of my source (whom I will call Mr. X ) or the methods used to get this interview. I can state, however, that camping-out at local "watering holes" and having an unlimited budget for booze is something that young reporters might keep in mind.

Hours of boring discussions with Mr. X about the Colorado University football team and the Denver Broncos have been excluded from this taped "off-the-record" interview.

Shadow: I'm a big fan of John Elway, also. He is really good at his job. By the way, X, what is your job?

X: I'm a lawyer with the Boulder DA's office.

S: Wow! Sounds important. Have you worked on the JonBenet case?

X: Well… uh, yeah, but I can't talk about it.

S: Hey, if you can't talk, it's Ok. But, I heard that you guys are doing a great job in spite of the screw-ups of the BPD.

X: Screw-ups is right. And detectives keep bailing-out and blaming us. Ain't fair!

S: How true! But, X, I've got to admit that lots of people are wondering why Alex Hunter hasn't convened a Grand Jury yet.

X: We have a big problem to work out before we can call a Grand Jury. We call it "The Curse of Hunter's Magic."

S: Huh??

X: Well, it's like this. Everyone knows how Hunter can work magic with suspects - all of his convictions since he's been DA have been the result of confessions and/or plea bargaining.

S: So? What's the problem?

X: We believe Haddon is very familiar with Hunter's magic and has immunized the Ramseys through hypnotism. We have many, many witnesses, all of whom will be called before the Ramseys are. We're concerned that people like Fleet White, Santa, the housekeeper, and others, who have not been immunized, might fall under Hunter's magic spell and confess on-the-spot right in front of the Grand Jury.

S: I can see how that might be a problem.

X: No kidding! Chaos! The Grand Jury wouldn't know who to indict.

S: So, what is the DA's office going to do?

X: Hunter and his staff are discussing a plan whereby he would do the questioning of just one of the witnesses - we are trying to identify that person right now.

S: Bad news for that person! Got any idea who it will be?

X: Well, currently the voting is about 50/50 between Hunter questioning Larry Pozner or Jerrilyn Merritt. I understand Haddon has suggested someone with no political clout, someone who Hunter has no direct or indirect connection with, and someone who will need a Court appointed lawyer to expedite the subsequent plea bargain. But there is still a lot of sentiment for Pozner or Merritt in the DA's office.

S: Either way, it sure doesn't sound like the Ramseys. Oh, well, good talking with you X. Got to go… how about picking up that last tab?

All "Sludge Reports" are "Parody"
All "Sludge Reports" are "Parody" and are written by "Shadow" and are the express property of "Shadow" and donated and used on the ACandyRose Website with express permission of "Shadow" as part of the archived history of the Internet Subculture surrounding the JonBenet Ramsey murder Investigation. The parody opinion expressed in the "Sludge Reports" is not necessarily the opinion of the webmaster of "ACandyRose" and have not been included in the archive history by "Shadow" or "ACandyRose" to discredit any Internet poster or any person in real life whose name may sound familiar when referenced within the parody reports. The "Sludge Reports" can not be copied or used from the ACandyRose website without the express permission of "Shadow."


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