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Hunter Grand Jury
|Hunter Grand Jury Strategy Meeting|
Sludge Report Staff Writer
Washington, DC - August 16, 1998: In covering the first private meeting of Alex Hunter’s new "Strategy Team," your reporter lost his most reliable source of information, and is now in trouble with the CIA!
It all started simply enough. When I heard of the upcoming meeting, I contacted my best source of inside information, Ted "fly-on-the-wall" Phillips. Ted, a genius in chemistry, developed and sold designer drugs in the late 1970s. After getting out of prison in 1993, Ted perfected his "fly potion." By changing into a fly, Ted made a decent living being the fly-on-the-wall for many in the mainstream news media and such reporters as Geraldo, Ted Koppel, and shadow. While the Washington Post, New York Times and Wall Street Journal will never admit it, Ted was the source of their only accurate "leaks" in the Monica/Bill case. I also contacted a friend at the CIA who I blackmailed into loaning me the agency’s state-of-the-art mini-microphone that is the size of a pinhead.
Armed with the mini-microphone tied around his neck with thread, Ted flew into the Hunter "Strategy Team" meeting room at the Best Western Motel in Boulder. Transcribed below is what was picked-up by the state-of-the-art mini-microphone. Unfortunately, I cannot identify who is speaking - you will have to try to gleam this from the words being spoken.
Voice One: Ok guys I’m going to forego the intros because we all know each other. And, you know why we’re here.
Voice Two: Yeah, Alex. I guess Steve Thomas’ letter brought the JonBenet case back into the limelight - at least for a few hours.
Voice Three: Well, Bob, I thought you did a pretty good job of defusing his letter on the Geraldo Show.
Voice Two: Glad you’re here Dennis. We were lucky an ex-prosecutor, Marcia Clark, was the moderator that night instead of Geraldo. She obviously wasn’t happy with a lowly detective criticizing the DA’s office. Pozner and the other lawyers on the show also helped by bashing Thomas.
Voice Four: Regardless of Steve Thomas, folks, it seems to me that some type of action is going to have to be taken on this case. After Bill Clinton talks to the Monica/Bill Grand Jury, things may die down in Washington and the heat may increase for action in Boulder.
Voice Two: Actually, Donna, regardless of what Clinton says, the Monica/Bill show is going to keep playing. I’m not worried about the mainstream media, MSNBC, CNN, Larry King or Geraldo - they will continue to concentrate on the sex drama and ignore JonBenet as long as their ratings are high. On the other hand, the Joshua-7 JonBenet Forum was a big pain in the butt for many, many months. Just wouldn’t let this thing die. Through hard work and many payoffs, the Ramsey’s agents and Boulder DA’s office, finally killed Joshua-7.
Voice One: Yeah, but now we have JusticeWatch which may be worse. They’re sending e-mails and faxes all over the place.
Voice Three: Well, Alex, the question before us today is do we actually call a Grand Jury, or do we continue to have periodic meetings and announce the results of these meetings. This probably will work at least until Clinton leaves office. Heh, heh!
Voice Two: Hey, Alex, hand me the Rocky Mountain News.
Voice One: Why, Bob? We’ve all read that crap over and over.
Voice Two: That’s not it this fly is driving me crazy. SPLAT!!!
End of transmission! After the meeting, I sneaked into the meeting room. Oh, the humanity! Big disaster the mini-microphone was completely smashed and Ted was just a flattened spot on the wall. As you may guess, I am now in deep mourning and also in hiding from the CIA. Will reappear when things calm down.
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|All "Sludge Reports" are "Parody" and are written by "Shadow" and are the express property of "Shadow" and donated and used on the ACandyRose Website with express permission of "Shadow" as part of the archived history of the Internet Subculture surrounding the JonBenet Ramsey murder Investigation. The parody opinion expressed in the "Sludge Reports" is not necessarily the opinion of the webmaster of "ACandyRose" and have not been included in the archive history by "Shadow" or "ACandyRose" to discredit any Internet poster or any person in real life whose name may sound familiar when referenced within the parody reports. The "Sludge Reports" can not be copied or used from the ACandyRose website without the express permission of "Shadow."|
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