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JW Forum Serial Thread-Killer
|JW Forum Serial Thread-Killer|
Investigative Reporter – shadow
Washington, DC – December 13, 1999: For more than two years, the JW Forum has been witness to a phenomenon almost as strange as the Bill and Hillary saga, the Republican Presidential debates, and even the JBR case itself. The big difference is that, in this case, no one has accused anyone else of misdeeds. Indeed, almost every poster, at one time or another, has seen fit to name themselves as the individual who has been killing JW Forum threads – thus, confessing to being a “Serial Thread-Killer.”
Not even Alex Hunter would question that thousands of JW Forum threads have died over the past couple of years. But, did they die a natural death or were they brutally killed by a person or persons unknown? Since every poster on the forum remained “under-the umbrella-of suspicion,” this was a mystery that had to be solved – the sooner the better. And who better than “crack investigative reporter,” shadow, to do the job?
The logical first step in my investigation was, of course, to get a profile of a Serial Thread-Killer. After being rejected by John Douglas, who said he already had a job, I tracked-down Robert Ressler at the Manassas battlefield Holiday Inn,108 Vandor Lane, Manassas, Virginia. Mr. Ressler formulated the FBI’s Criminal Personality Research Program that subsequently researched over 100 of the nation’s most violent killers and sexual offenders.
Shadow: There is a general consensus that a Serial Thread-Killer is on the loose on the JW Forum. I thought you might give us a profile of this demented person.
Ressler: I’m currently getting ready for my Profiles of Violent Crime: Insights into Serial, Sexual, & Mass Murder. This is a two day seminar to be held in this very motel – but I guess I can give you a “quickie” profile.
Shadow: That’s better than the nothing – which John Douglas gave me.
Ressler: Douglas is busy recapturing his reputation. Ok… your Serial Thread-Killer is most likely a woman who likes to have the “final word.” That, of course, could be any female between the ages of 4 and 100. Heh, heh. But seriously, my guess is that she’s a grandmother, probably has her own web-site, and drives a Dodge van with a “Baby On Board” bumper sticker. That’s all the time I can give you, shadow. Check it out…
Shadow: Well, that certainly narrows it down! Thanks for your help.
BOTTOM LINE!!! After days of chasing one dead-end lead after another, shadow finally went to the source – literally! Very careful research of the JW Forum threads from October 14th through October 19th confirmed shadow’s suspicions. Contrary to popular belief, there may be no Serial Thread-Killer on the JW Forum! There were 56 threads created over these six days. The lives of these 56 threads were ended by 36 different posters. Their names are being withheld because they are no longer suspects. Only 8 posters can still be considered “under the umbrella of suspicion” – lecarl ended the life of 4 threads; MrsBrady, Rose and Woby put an end to 3; and Linda, Allegra, and Holly did-in 2 each.
Is shadow going to continue this investigation? To paraphrase the venerable Alex Hunter, DUH!
|All "Sludge Reports" are "Parody"|
|All "Sludge Reports" are "Parody" and are written by "Shadow" and are the express property of "Shadow" and donated and used on the ACandyRose Website with express permission of "Shadow" as part of the archived history of the Internet Subculture surrounding the JonBenet Ramsey murder Investigation. The parody opinion expressed in the "Sludge Reports" is not necessarily the opinion of the webmaster of "ACandyRose" and have not been included in the archive history by "Shadow" or "ACandyRose" to discredit any Internet poster or any person in real life whose name may sound familiar when referenced within the parody reports. The "Sludge Reports" can not be copied or used from the ACandyRose website without the express permission of "Shadow."|
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